Category Archives: Uncategorized

Returning to the Anglican church

Returning to Christianity (the Anglican Church) after nearly 50 years away… How does it work to come back – what has changed? What are the benefits? What have I noticed? Intro I was confirmed when I was 13 and went … Continue reading

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Looks like it was a 3 year retreat…

So I’ve had a third gap year… not writing, but just allowing whatever was happening to happen. Lots of useful retreats, practical work and insights alongside a much more robust physical health (thanks Ingleton gym…). Now I can feel that … Continue reading

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Another gap year

Ha! I seem to be on another gap year. Physical energy is now much better but I’m only inching back towards more writing/publishing/posting. Not there yet. A very interesting process in terms of what seems to be about clearing the … Continue reading

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A gap year

I’ve been struggling with health issues for about a year. Some kind of post-viral tiredness that’s left me unable to do my usual stuff – like write, meditate, or look after my website… And also therefore some kind of transformation … Continue reading

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Radical Lover

Thich Nhat Hanh says that if we wish to manifest love and compassion for others, we must first be able to love ourselves. Our capacity to love others is limited, in effect, by the extent to which we can also … Continue reading

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Holy places

Holy places make it easier to feel holy. Sit in an empty church and the atmosphere of devotion usually makes it easier to be in touch with your own holiness within you. It’s not guaranteed: you can come out of … Continue reading

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This morning’s stillness

When we go within ourselves no-one else can see what’s happening there. If we want to know what someone else’s inner experience is like then we have to rely on their reports. Meditation is a particular kind of ‘going within’, … Continue reading

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Bringing Better Benefit

Came across someone the other day who really didn’t ‘get’ meditation. They thought it was essentially indulgent, and an alternative to action. When I thought about it I realised that there’s a little part of me that thinks the same! … Continue reading

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As with dog, so with meditation

It’s a common, standard, ‘problem’ in meditation. There you are, meditating happily away, and a distracting force – for example anger – comes up. What do you do? Classic answer: as little as possible. You become aware of it, and … Continue reading

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The voices of contraction

Sometimes the voices of contraction speak very loudly in us. Those voices assume that being shrunken, fearful, and anxious is the only option. It’s a painful place to be. Do you recognise these voices? Do they speak in your life? … Continue reading

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Pondering the urge to be egotistical

‘What about me!’ Ever wanted to shout that? Or at least whisper it so no one will quite hear? For most of us, that urge pops up from time to time. Perhaps when we’re feeling low in the middle of … Continue reading

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Two Christmas poems for you – and you – and You

My sixty-first Nowell At midwinter, bearing my gifts, I set off in search of you and peace. The first church I tried was locked with an apologetic note pinned to the door. I sat on a bench in the pale … Continue reading

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Irritate, how you irritate me!

Irritate, how you irritate me! At four in the morning, my legs ache with you my guts writhe with you. And you’re not even here. You’re just an image in my mind and a voice endlessly whining and complaining while … Continue reading

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All that I utter

I apologise in advance for what I am about to say because all that I utter is less than God. The bread that I bake and the cakes I provide: the ingredients include chaff, and a little grit. As a … Continue reading

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A recipe for happiness

when beauty arises from your being be happy with that when ugliness arises from your being be happy with that when nothing arises from your being be happy with that when the world says yes be happy with that when … Continue reading

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A regular heart check-up

I was running up the hill and my heart was pounding. I became concerned and so I checked out my heart. ‘Is this too much?’ I asked. ‘Are you OK.’ ‘I love it’, my heart answered with laughter. ‘I like … Continue reading

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Green Man’s hard task

Green Man prowling in the woods at midwinter. Green Man dodging through the dripping trees. Green Man alert, pausing to scent the air. ‘If I were a Christian, I would be sitting by a crib. If I were a Quaker, … Continue reading

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Dark truth

I love this dark grey dusk of midwinter. Trees, bushes, path, people all disappearing around me into the gloaming. I have survived the darkest that the year can get and I live, still. Tomorrow will be lighter and the day … Continue reading

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The Soul

From childhood I knew that the soul was a diaphanous version of the body (pretty well two-dimensional like the sole of a shoe) that left the body on the ground when it died and went up to heaven while angels … Continue reading

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In your absence, my Beloved, all is dull

In your absence, my Beloved, all is dull, and I am bereft. Each day, I hunch over more, shrink more, am more puzzled. Where have you gone, why am I alone like this again? Have I slipped into preference again? … Continue reading

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