Not another one to love

 Across the silent room your face is there,
your being is present.
I have always, over the years, allowed myself
to be fond of you.
Now, some circumstances of the moment
create a small opening:
painfully, reluctantly, my heart creaks a little bigger
as love surges in.
A ripple of energy rebounds through me
bringing tears that I hide.
The words that appear alongside are: ‘ah, so I love you.’
Then: ‘Oh no, not another one to love.’
You see, in your life you will experience suffering
and eventually die.
And all of that I will not now be able to ignore
quite so easily as before.
Your joy is now also more of a concern of mine.
In each moment we meet
it’s going to be harder now to avoid
giving you my best.
All of this, I know, is to the good. But, I ask myself,
what if it happens again?
What if it happens to other people too –
where will it all end?

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